So I took the first step - I went and spoke to my vicar.
For anyone unfamiliar with the C of E, that's the first real step to get wheels in motion, and get it out of my head.
It took me ages to work out exactly what to say. I thought, I wrote, I rewrote and I practiced. I got to his house really early for the staff meeting, rehearsing what I was going to say all the way. This was all well and good, until I got in. I sat down, nervous, made some small talk and then, so very embarrassingly, blurted out something virtually incoherent about "vicar" and "explore". If I'm honest, I think he was a little taken aback by my outburst but he didn't seem at all surprised by its content.
Surprised or otherwise, his response to it was not really what I expected, though I suppose maybe I should have. He told me to wait. I know a lot of people are told the same with regard to exploring ministry, but somehow I didn't expect it to be me. I guess this may be to do with the length of time I've been thinking about it, so I just assumed that everyone else has too. Believe me, I know how ridiculous that sounds.
His exact response was that I should wait until next year, so he will have known me 12 months. It's not a long time to wait really, I know that, but to be honest I am still a bit disappointed. I've been warned time and again that nothing moves quickly within the Church of England, so perhaps I should get used to this, maybe?
I suppose I'll just wait and see what the next step will be, and when I can take it.
